You’ve done it—you’ve scored her phone number, and you’re about to have some one-on-one time over the phone with the girl you like. But how do you keep the conversation alive and interesting without running out of things to say? Don’t worry. We’ve put together plenty of tips, tricks, and strategies that can help take your phone call to the next level.
Ask open-ended questions.
“Yes or no” questions won’t accomplish much in a conversation.
Instead, ask unique, engaging questions that force her to think of a longer answer. For instance, “Do you like soccer?” would be a yes or no question, while “What’s your favorite part about soccer?” is much more open-ended. Here are a few questions you can try asking:
- What was the highlight of your day?
- What do you think about this music group?
- What did you think about that rally last night?
Practice active listening.
Active listening lets her know that you really care about what she’s saying.
As she shares her story, repeat what she says in clarifying questions. When you find a free moment the conversation, ask her something open-ended to keep the conversation going. You might say:
- “So Mrs. Brown marked you absent even though you arrived at class on time?”
- “So your audition went well, but you’re worried that you won’t land the part?”
- “How did that make you feel?”
Build the conversation on something she says.
Pay close attention to the different stories that she offers.
Can you relate to anything that she’s sharing? Try to think of something you have in common with her, and share that tidbit to keep the conversation going. You might say:
- “That’s really cool that you’re a vegetarian. I was actually thinking about giving it a try—do you have any tips?”
- “You’re a coffee person? Me too. I stop by my local coffee shop so much that I think they have my order memorized.”
- “Shrimp is your favorite food? That’s so neat. I really want to give shrimp a try, but I didn’t have the best experience the last time I ate seafood.”
Discuss something noteworthy.
Bookmark a few interesting, relatable topics in case the conversation gets stale.
Maybe there’s a big football game coming up, or an exciting new TV show just started airing. Brainstorm a few interesting topics that you can chat about in case the conversation starts to dwindle. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Movies and TV
Mention something surprising about yourself.
You don’t have to confess your deepest, darkest secrets to her.
Just keep it light and fun! Your interesting tidbit could always take the conversation in a whole new direction. Here are a few ideas:
- “I was actually an extra on a big Hollywood movie.”
- “I can make a ham sandwich with my eyes closed.”
- “I can write with both hands.”
Crack a joke.
Look up some funny jokes online or tell her a hilarious story.
You can even sprinkle some extra silliness into your conversation by imitating other people, doing your best animal impression, or singing a little song. Try to stay away from any dark jokes that may come off as insensitive. Just like a good joke can make a really good impression, an offensive joke can make a really bad one. Here are a few corny jokes you can try:
- “How do you organize a space-themed party? You planet.”
- “What does the baby laptop call his dad? Data.”
- “Why are leopards so bad at hide and seek? Because they’re always spotted.”
Make small talk.
Small talk isn’t as awful as people make it out to be.
If you’re drawing a blank during your conversation, small talk can be a huge lifesaver. If you run out of things to talk about, feel free to ask about her day, or if she has any upcoming plans. With any luck, your small talk can lead to a new, interesting conversation. Try asking:
- What was the best part of your day?
- What are your plans for the weekend?
- Learn anything interesting in class today?
Say whatever is on your mind.
Blurting is a fun, genuine way to keep your conversation going.
Sometimes, a random thought or response pops into your head when you least expect it. That’s okay! Say whatever comes to your mind, even if it seems a little random. In fact, blurting shows that you really trust her and that you think she’ll respect and listen to whatever you have to say.
Embrace the silence.
Silence in a conversation isn’t bad.
Think of it this way—when you chat with your friends, you probably aren’t talking constantly. In fact, you probably have a few moments of silence mixed into your usual hangouts. The same rules apply when you’re on the phone with a girl. Don’t panic when things go quiet; instead, take that time to center your thoughts and refocus your conversation.
Wrap things up if your chat isn’t going anywhere.
Try not to force the conversation onward with endless questions and stories.
If she seems bored or tired, it may be time to take a break. Besides, if you don’t wrap up the conversation at some point, she might start associating you with super long calls. Here are some clues that she might not be interested:
- She asks basic questions instead of engaged and interesting follow-up questions.
- She repeats simple replies like “Oh really?” or “That’s so funny.”
- She talks much less than you do.
- Try starting up a conversation with someone you don’t know very well. The more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll feel when you’re chatting with her!