Have you been sending tons of “Hi”s and “Hello”s on Plenty of Fish, without much success? Crafting the perfect opening message can sound like a lot of pressure, but don’t sweat it—with these tips, you can write an awesome opening line every time. Read this article to send cool, casual messages on Plenty of Fish and up your response rates almost instantly.
Talk about something in her profile.
Your potential date will know you crafted a message just for her.
When you find someone that you want to message, take a minute to look through her profile and her photos. Pick out something interesting that you want to comment on, then craft a message about that. It’s an easy way to show that you like her, and she’ll know that you aren’t copying and pasting messages to dozens of people at a time.
- “Hey Emily! Cool picture of you and your surfboard. I’ve always wanted to learn to surf.”
- “Your dog is so cute! I have a Great Dane puppy that I’m trying to train right now.”
- “Hi Jessica! I saw that you like to cook—that spaghetti in your third pic looks amazing.”
Ask a question.
Online, people are more likely to respond to an open-ended question.
Instead of sending a statement to your potential date, try asking them something about themselves or the info in their profile. Keep it open-ended, meaning something they can’t just answer with a “yes” or “no.” Questions like these can be the start to a fun, engaging conversation!
- “I love all of your travel pictures. Where’s your favorite place to go abroad?”
- “Wow, you seem like a foodie! What’s the best restaurant you’ve been to?”
- “Hi Lydia! I saw in your profile that you like to hike. Have any good trail recommendations?”
Talk about your similar interests.
Make a connection right away by pointing out your commonalities.
If you notice something in your match’s profile that you relate to, point it out so they notice it, too. It’s much easier to start a conversation when you already have something in common, so use that to your advantage.
- “I’m obsessed with The Office too! How many times have you watched it so far? I think I’m on rewatch #3.”
- “I can’t believe you saw Arctic Monkeys live! I love that band. How was the show?”
- “What are the odds—I also picked up roller skating during the pandemic!”
Give her a compliment (but not about her appearance).
Flatter her by noticing something other than how she looks.
Women get plenty of messages about how they look online—they probably don’t want to hear it from a potential date. Instead, compliment a part of her personality or a cool moment from her profile that you picked up on.
- “Those nature shots are amazing! You’re an incredible photographer.”
- “You have 2 degrees?! I really admire your dedication!”
- “You seem so well-traveled! I’d love to visit as many countries as you have.”
Try a goofy pickup line.
Show off your sense of humor with something a little silly.
If the person you’re messaging seems like they have a fun sense of humor based on their profile, you can send them a one-liner to make them laugh. Keep your pickup line G-rated, and don’t send anything offensive. Try something like:
- “Well, I’m here. What are your other 2 wishes?”
- “Are you a loan? Because you sure have my interest.”
- “Let’s try a role reversal. How about you send me a pickup line?”
Keep your message short.
Long paragraphs can be too intimidating to respond to.
While it can be tempting to write a long, detailed message to your potential date, keep it short and sweet. Your messages can get a little longer if you have an engaging conversation, but in general, you want to stick to 1 or 2 sentences at most.
Send one message at a time.
Sending multiple first messages can make you come on a little strong.
Even if you think of something else to say, wait until your match responds to your first one before sending another. If she never responds, that’s okay—move on and message someone else.
- It can be frustrating when you send a message without getting a response, but don’t sweat it! Online dating is a numbers game. The more people you message, the more likely you are to get a response.
Use good grammar.
Bad grammar and spelling mistakes make women less likely to respond.
Before you send that first message, take a few seconds to skim through it and make sure everything looks good. A missing period or a rogue comma is probably fine, but an egregious spelling or grammar error could make women hesitant to respond.
- Try to hold back on emojis, too. One or two is okay, but a message full of emojis can be a little off-putting (and hard to read).
Save your contact info for later.
Sending a first message with your number in it is a little presumptuous.
While it might seem like a good idea to send your number right away, a lot of people like to have a conversation on Plenty of Fish before taking things off the app. Save your number (or your Instagram handle, or your Facebook account) until after you’ve made a solid connection.
- Plus, keeping your personal info to yourself helps keep you safe, too.
Wait a while before asking her out.
Opening with a date idea can make some people uncomfortable.
On more serious dating apps like Plenty of Fish, most users want to be 100% sure there’s an underlying connection there before meeting up in-person. You can definitely work toward an IRL date, but save that until you’ve had a few messages back and forth first.
- If you do decide to ask someone out on a dating app, suggest meeting in a public place so they feel safe and comfortable.
Fill out your profile with info about yourself.
Most people will check out your profile before responding.
If you find that you’re crafting personalized messages and fun questions but you still aren’t getting any responses, take a look at your POF profile. Make sure you’ve filled out all the basic information about yourself, as well as some fun facts, too. Use high-quality, flattering photos of yourself, both in a group and on your own.
- Your profile is the only thing women on POF have to go off of when they’re deciding if they like you or not. Make sure it represents who you truly are!
- Ask a trusted friend (possibly of the opposite sex) to take a look at your profile and tell you what they think. They might have some suggestions on how you can make your profile even better.
- Keep in mind that the pictures on your dating profile are often 75-80% of the equation! Make sure that they represent you in the best way possible.
- Think about different adjectives that describe you, and try to incorporate them in your profile. Rather than saying “My apartment is super colorful,” you could say “I love home decor. I can pour through home decorating magazines for hours!”